The weather was still awful. I got a lot on my plate today and so I thought I can ask for help. I delegated a posting letter task to Andrew since he had to go to Handyman Shop anyway. I have a trust issue when it comes to getting things done. I found it difficult to delegate tasks because I want them done a certain way. But being married helps me to learn to trust and to delegate tasks.
I was nervous about giving this task to Andrew and battling in my mind whether I should just do it myself. This letter delivery I needed to do wasn’t straightforward. It is not penpal letter but an official letter. I needed a trackable return envelope inserted into my letter before sending it with a first-class class sign on the delivery from Royal Mail. Anyway, I let him do it for me. I gave him the instructions and even wrote them down in three steps so he won’t forget.
After some minutes, he returned home. I nervously asked how was it, and he said he bought a 2nd class stamp for the return envelope instead because of a system issue. I snapped! This is the reason I struggle to trust! He could have called me and asked me first if that would be fine. They are other alternatives so that the return can be tracked, yet he didn’t even bother to ask? Inserting a second-class stamp is redundant because that is what they will do for free anyway!
Well, nothing I can do but wait. Hoping that the return will be here safe and secure.
Through all this, I sinned.I was very upset and grumpy.I asked the Lord to forgive me.Oh, my heart was still uneasy.Rainy… Rainy…Lord, help me here.Not even a small thing happens without your decree.So, I’ll rest in your sovereignty.Now I pray, wait, and I’ll see.
The rain stopped. I had a brief walk to calm myself. I brought my umbrella and raincoat. You see, that’s me. I like to be prepared and well-organised. Or perhaps, I am afraid of the worst that might happen. Despite being equipped with a raincoat and umbrella, I rejoice when there was no rain during my walk because I know it is God who tells the clouds to pour the rain or to stop them. Look, I can be as organised as much as I could, but God is still the one in control of things in my life. Rest O, my soul…
I returned home feeling much better. I had a course to do tonight and some sorting to be done. I will cook Nasi Goreng with eggs tonight and I’ll Kung Pao the fried rice (It’s a joke between me and my husband. When I got annoyed I’ll Kung Pao his food (make it super spicy)).
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Coram Deo:
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
The Lord taught me about wisdom today in which I must continually ask Him for it because obviously, I am lacking in so many ways.